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worst testament - DEMO FEST 2020

by worst testament

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1.
back pages 04:43
i’ve worked hard for my solitude can’t just give it up, hand it over to you so the moment passes and i’m still standing still been trying all these times but i’ve had my fill it’s a failure to finish off every page in the past keeps on coming, keeps coming right on back it’s all of these best laid plans and how they penetrate every hand i try and hold hold up to the light somehow never fits, never fits quite right think i’ll be making my way back out again tonight it’s a weight to carry, and i won’t it’s a lead to bury, and i don’t it’s a weight to carry, and i won’t it’s a lead to bury, and i don’t can you feel the restlessness that burns in me? it’s a fire that flickers deep am you just the flame to my gasoline, and i wanna know what could you have ever expected of me? where exactly did you think this would lead? we could travel a million days on a million streets and still you see, oooh, you see how the feeling, how it escapes from me i’ve worked hard for my solitude, don’t think i’ll be handing it over to you
2.
you went on tour, and you stopped writing me letters i felt silly while you found somebody better i had nothing to write back so i kept myself in check just silently sank into a sorrowful blue, little bit sad ‘cause you didn’t love me the way i wanted you to you were seething and you said, things i couldn’t forget at 5am while we’re trying to be friends and we both know how this one ends i know all your apologies by heart supposedly sorry but you’re still throwing darts little bit mad ‘cause i didn’t love you the way you wanted me to i brought you houseplants and a jar of soup gentle and sorry gifts on your stoop you called me grateful to say but i was already three blocks away and we both knew it was a solemn tribute to the fact that i couldn’t love you in the way you needed me to who am i if i am nothing to you? i’ve read those names and i’ve seen those faces sometimes love takes you to dark places but i touched you, everytime and i love you, i do but i just can’t love you in the way you want me too
3.
bleacheater 03:02
hate the way you say hello don’t want you to stay but i don’t want you to go take all the ways i told you so stepping wide and sailing out the window off of the sidewalk and into the street i can dress up like the freak that you need me to be but the days still bleed like broken teeth into one another exactly like each other feeling like you’re fading when i try to make you mine you know i’m silver sad waterproof and wasting all my time baby insecurity comes across like insincerity you’re doing backflips for cans of beans and im holding out my hat and looking kinda mean youre only ever sorry when you make yourself sick turn yourself around and forget it all quick ridiculous when you do it all again forward charades and i’m tired of those games youre talking up a storm while youre promising to quit so you tie your tongue in knots just to keep it in your lips but the days still bleed like broken teeth into one another exactly like each other feeling like you’re fading when i try to make you mine you know im silver sad waterproof and wasting all my time
4.
will you write poems out of my grief, and rub my back, when i lose my teeth? will you paint me a portrait from the slings and arrows, of my outrageous fortune? will you lift the bricks up from my back and build a home, with the tools i lack? will you strike the sorrow down from my skies, no telling how, or asking me why? will you just let me be when i need to be me? and if my eyes go colourblind, colour in the world for me? will you find the fairytale inside my failure speak to me in certainties when my step is unsure? will you sing a sweet melody to my racked and crumbling body? still hold me still love me still love me when i forget how to tell time when my memory c eases to rewind when im slowly losing my mind? will you still be mine?

about

bm. duggan - guitar, vocals
greg preston - bass
nathan burger - drums, backing vocals
all songs written by bm. duggan
*back pages co-written by greg preston
recorded & mixed by greg preston
artwork by Jane H. Harms
mastered by will killingsworth at dead air studios

credits

released December 21, 2020

Released as part of DEMO FEST 2020
demo-fest.org
All proceeds are going to Solidarity Across Borders
solidarityacrossborders.org

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DEMO FEST Montreal, Québec

DEMO FEST is a fundraiser for Solidarity Across Borders. Over 200 artists spent the fall writing/recording/producing a ‘demo’ style new release. Everything was released on December 21st.

All proceeds go to Solidarity Across borders. Consider paying more than the minimum for individual releases, or buying the complete discography. Every little bit counts!
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